You'd think I'd read more...

You'd think as a teacher of English I'd be reading a lot.
But I'm here to tell you that as a FIRST YEAR teacher of English, I do not.

I wake up at 5:30 and spend an hour trying to look professional. Heels. Hair. Tucked-in shirt.

I get to school early to grade and make sure everything is in line for the day.

I teach 8th graders for 6 hours, consistently reminding them, "It's my turn to talk now; you'll have a turn in a few minutes..."

I read aloud to them some days and they squirm in their seats and play with their hair.

Then the day is over at 2:45 and I sit at my desk, mulling over my next day's lesson plan.

I type up very minute details so I won't forget what I want to say and how I want to teach.

I read my 2 Post-It notes that are always on my desk:

"Teach like your hair's on fire!"

and

"I have to love it first."

I go back to my lesson.

I worry that the students won't have a long enough attention span so I add another activity.

I make copies.

I run around the building in my clicking and clacking heels.

I try to leave by 5 every night, so I still have a chance to see the sun once for the day.

I listen to podcasts on my drive home about Oscar Wilde and Lizzie Borden or the history of handbags and why women shave their legs.

And by the time I get home, I want to turn the dial to OFF.

So I sit on my couch

and I forget the big words like exasperated and dinner

and I just want to watch internet TV until my husband comes home.

He comes home about an hour later.

We eat. And dance. And run around like children.

And 3 hours later we brush our teeth and put on our pajamas and I think to myself,

I wish I read more...

I almost forgot

Oh. Also.

I cut my bangs at 6:20 this morning.

Just looked in the mirror, picked up some scissors, and...oops.

These things happen.

Back in college...

It's funny how quickly it's seemed that I've come to be able to say, "Back in college..." (awkwardly phrased sentence. But I'm leaving it...)

I'm teaching the book Make Lemonade to my 8th graders right now. It was a stretch, a leap of faith for me. It's a girl book, and I have a lot of boys. A lot of reluctant-reader boys. But, I took the chance and here we are reading Make Lemonade. A book about LaVaughn, a 14 year old girl, trying to earn money for college so she can get out of her awful neighborhood by babysitting for Jolly, a 17 year old single mom with 2 kids.

We talked about lemons. About how life will hand us lemon after lemon after lemon.

I thought about my own lemons.

And we talked about how we can make lemonade out of our lemons. How we HAVE TO. We have no choice. We can't just be sad all the time; we'll fall apart.

I told them, "Back in college...I had a professor who told me, 'Bad things don't happen; life happens.' and I've never forgotten that."

The next day in class, Gatlin told me, "You remember that quote you told us last time about bad things not happening, only life happening? I really liked that. I put it as my status on Facebook..."

And I have boys sitting in their desks, holding their books, their eyes fixed on the words like it has the formula to cure the sadness of the world. They're paying attention. They're into it.

And I'm into it.

And I'm so into having my students into it.

It feels so good when you go out on a limb and choose a book that's about feelings and students don't fall asleep.

Today we went around the class and said our CAPABLES because they went around their class and said their capables in Make Lemonade. They finished the phrase: I am capable of...

They were smiling and beaming when I'd yell back at them, "Yes you ARE capable of that! You sure are! Oh yeah!"

It feels good to be doing something. And especially to not be in college and finally be able to say, "Back in college..."

Did you know I'm an 8th grade English teacher?