My Dramatic Monologue

I remembered last night near midnight that I was supposed to write a 20 lined dramatic monologue for my British Literary History class. My first draft was a story about a safari tour guide who eats his tourists but since the last poem I wrote for that class was about a jungle and graphic gore, I decided to change the subject matter. Liz, laying lifelessly on my couch with her knitting resting on her stomach suggested writing about Cat in the Hat. And with Liz and Alex yelling lines and ideas and me laughing so loudly I'm sure I woke the neighbors, this was created:

A Famous Poet’s Conversation with His Mother

Mother, do you remember the first book I tried to publish? The not-so-famous one?
No, not the Cat in the Hat; the one before the operation.
I see you trembling, mother. Were you afraid that I would remember?
You think I don’t remember my true father, but you are wrong. I remember his
strong paws, how I used to hop on pop. Oh, the places we would go!
But look at us now; a disgrace. We’ve betrayed our own kind
from the moment we walked into that plastic surgeon vet’s office. I remember it all.
And just because clogs weren’t a popular trend yet and the hat, that damned hat, was always in.
Oh, yes I’ll have more eggs please. Make mine green.
But back to the real issue; you forced me to get pointy ears and a sunken in face
and to poop in this sand box! Oh, if I were to go back – things would be different.
The Dog in the Clog would rise in popularity and we could still have this lavish life – but it would be honest. Now, I suppose you’re right. The clog did go in and out of style quite quickly,
and the hat has never failed us yet.
I just don’t like the fact that you traded in our own culture for a quick buck.
And what I’m trying to say, mother is it’s time I go back.
Leave this life of fame and lies and fleas and chew on a nice juicy bone the way I was born to.
Don’t give me that Seuss abuse, mother! I’ve made up my mind! I am going back!
It’s beginning! Arf! Arf!
The Dog in the Clog will hit stores immediately, May 2009!
Be prepared, mother. All your secrets will be revealed.