On The 2 Year Mark

Kelly and I hit our 2 year mark, folks. In honor of how much I love reminiscing, let's reminisce.

Starting in 2007, Kelly and I worked together. I was his trainer, and even though I looked like this, he still thought I was cute:

So I'd save a seat for him at work, which he thought was creepy. And I'd scoot my chair closer to him, which he thought was creepy. And I'd tell him how hot his arms were, to which he would flex in response, and he thought it was creepy.  Here's a picture I snapped at the Operator Christmas party because, hey. When you have a crush on someone, it's fun to try to take pictures of them.

 Our relationship really picked up when we started doing skits together at the BYU Operator retreats. Skits in which I insisted on being married to him. Everyone thought it was so hilarious. (right, guys?)

As the years went by, I often would invite Kelly over to do things like carve pumpkins and make s'mores over my stove. We had a lot of fun together, but when I asked him, "Do you think you would you ever, even in some alternate universe, ever date me?" he responded with, "nope."

 I accepted that and decided to just hang out with him all the time anyway, regardless of who I was dating at the time (sorry, past BFs...or am I?)
You can tell by the look on Kelly's face in this one that he loved being close to me and having his picture taken.

And then something magical happened. A miracle. He...started dating me! That's a real smile on his face, folks. Even though I'm so close to him.

And we started doing couple things. Together!

 And we took a road trip to San Francisco on which we talked about...gulp...getting married.

Then we got married! (well, that escalated quickly)

The past 2 years have been the most amazingly happy years of my life. I didn't even know I had the option to be this happy. In fact, I had just come to terms with the idea that my life had to be a little depressing at all times when Kelly showed me the truth was just the opposite.

One of our first real-er dates was to see the movie Ratatouille.  Now, if you know anything about me, you know that 1. I love sugar, and 2. I cry at everything. TV shows, books, movies, commercials, you name it. If it's emotional at all, I'm crying.
So, there we are on a date, and the movie comes to the Famously Disney Emotional Part (I don't even remember. The rat loses his family or that red-headed cook doesn't like him anymore or something) and my empathetic instincts kick in. My brain reminds me how depressing life can be and I feel my stomach clench in preparation. But just before the first tear can weasel its way out, Kelly leans over and says something downright ridiculous. Instead of crying, I erupt in laughter. The people in front of us give us the movie theater SHHHH, but we can't stop laughing, and a light goes on. "Natalie," the light says, "It feels so much better to laugh than to cry! Why have you been crying all these years?" I slipped my hand into Kelly's as a thanks for the revelation he had just unknowingly given to me.

This moment didn't take away all my empathy and stop me from crying during every TV Show/movie/book. Oh no, I cried watching Modern Family this morning on Hulu. But that's not the point. The point is, my whole life I had been worrying and crying myself to sleep, dwelling on things that I couldn't change; but there was suddenly this amazingly wise (and funny) man in my life who made me feel like I didn't need to anymore.

Now when things start falling apart and I feel my limbs give out like a child's push puppet, Kelly's right by my side, reminding me how good it feels to laugh and how good it is to be me.

My life is amazing.

Here's a video to prove it:

On Puppets

I know you guys are always wondering, what does Natalie do with all the puppets she makes!? 

I am here to answer that question with a video:

An Experiment...

First of all, I'd like to thank Science for making this all possible. 

This idea came to us from Life Hack. The website told me if I wanted to clear up hazy car headlights, I just had to use toothpaste:

Kelly and I were both enchanted. And if you haven't heard, I have some hazy-a$$ headlights. 

We rolled up our sleeves and put on our Myth Buster's outfits. 

Our hypothesis: Toothpaste would not make my headlights as clean as the internet said they will be.

 The Materials:

Toothpaste

Tooth brush

Slurpee cup full of water

Rag

and a Squirt Gun, of course. Just in case.

After the initial polish with the toothpaste, the headlight started looking pretty good. It seemed to be clearing up the haze. Our hypothesis seemed... plausible. I mean, the toothpaste was cleaning my headlight, but it wasn't sparkling clean like the internet promised. 

We weren't satisfied. We wanted my headlight to be straight-up wizard status. We got out our bottle of Novus 3, its purpose being the removal of tough scratches on the playfield of a Pinball machine. It's supposed to be some pretty powerful, abrasive stuff. See how it says the word "HEAVY" like 4 times right on the bottle?  

Our Hypothesis: This was either going to shine my headlights or set them on fire. I was ready and anxious for either or both to happen.

Kelly went to work, cleaning just half of the headlight to see if our next hypothesis was correct...

The before and after here certainly looks like a big change. We were on to something:

The final result was impressive. Look how clear that headlight is. 

"Why, Natalie. Is that a new headlight?!" 

"No, good sir. I just used Pinball cleaner on it."

"By Jove! It looks magnificent!"

Lights on or lights off, the answer is clear. Novus 3 definitely cleans a hazy headlight much better than toothpaste. This myth is busted, sucka! (That was our initial project right? Pitting the 2 against each other? How did we get here again?...)

Thanks again, Science!

The Super Hip Braided Babe

People are still way into braids, right? And it's still cool to take pictures of yourself, right?

If that's the case, then you're in for a treat!
I call this the...

Super Hip Braided Babe

I accidentally invented this last week when I decided to braid my hair to the side, but then didn't want any of it on my neck. I just started pinning the braid up and thought, "Hey, this doesn't look so bad!"

Let me walk you through it...

Step 1: Awkwardly braid your hair down the side of your head. To do so, tilt your head so it feels like you're using your shoulder to talk on the phone -- you know what I'm talkin' about. It's okay if it's messy, but in the end it should look something like this. (This is the same beginning for Easy Hair That Looks Alright.)

 Step 2: While watching The Colbert Report in your living room surrounded by empty gyro wrappers from Mad Greek, pull up your braid and fold it over.

 Step 3: Once you've folded your hair over, use a bobby pin or 2 to hold it in place. At this point, make sure you pause to take a big swig of Diet Coke from your monster Big Gulp cup. Braiding your hair is hard work, you deserve it!

 Step 4: Since the end of your braid is just hanging awkwardly off the side of your head, fold that part in and pin it down. Your hair now kind of looks like a snake. But a really trendy snake. 

 Step 6: The end of your braid is sticking out; you need to fix that. Simply tuck those hairs into the fold of your braid and hold 'em down with another bobby pin.

Voila! You have The Super Hip Braided Babe!

You can do whatever you want with your bangs in the end. At first I twisted them to the side, but Kelly said I looked like I lived in a commune, so I changed it to a little pomp.

In the end, you can see all of the sloppily placed bobby pins. You can also see the rubber band which you used to tie off your braid. Don't worry; no one cares. 

If you want an extra tip, use a rubber band that sort of matches your hair color. Unless, of course, you want to make some sort of fashion statement, then by all means do whatever you want. 

On Waiting for Summer

Summer is almost here.
As I anxiously await its promised glitz, glam, and sweat, I have done some pretty dope stuff. Dope is still cool to say, right? (If you were one of my 8th graders right now, you'd roll your eyes and yell, "NO!" Psh, what do they know?)

Let me give you the countdown of the 10 things I have done while anxiously awaiting Summer's arrival.

#10: I took Emily to 7-eleven and inducted her into the GIANT-BIG-GULP-MUG club. It was awesome. We became Cheetah Sistahs at that point.

#9: Emily and I finally learned how to do those sock buns that everyone is raving about. We took a gross, old pair of Halloween socks that I undoubtedly received from my mom in a wacky Halloween package years ago. We're talkin' years. And since Kelly hates when I wear holiday socks year round (it's one of those he-didn't-know-what-he-was-getting-into things), we cut them up and rolled those candy corn covered socks all up in our hair.
Like most things I try, it turned out amazing.

#8: I got to hang out with my OTHER sister while hanging out with my previously mentioned sister. It was great to see Sarah. I missed that lady. Oh, and I got to see her sisters too, whom I consider my sisters also. I have so many sisters nowadays... We had total girl time (and Kelly took pictures).

#7: Kelly, Emily, and I rode the Trax for 2 whole blocks to get to City Creek. 

We parked at the Gateway, went to a Trax station, found out that station was OOS (out of service), walked 2 blocks to the next Trax station, then rode that Trax for 2 whole blocks. 

I guess I'd say we're pretty good at navigating the city.

#6:  Finally found some fashionable sunglasses that fit over my regular glasses.

#5: Got attacked by a homeless man while driving downtown. 

We were just driving down a road, but I guess driving is offensive to homeless people because this haggard man looked me right in the eyes and threw an apple at our car. THREW AN APPLE AT OUR CAR! It hit the back window and splattered right where Emily's face was. It was pretty upsetting. 

Don't worry, we called the cops and they said they'd send a guy over to "talk to him." Yeah, give him a good talkin' to!

Look at that apple mess! We had to clean it off with pieces of ice from Emily's soda cup. While frowning, of course. 

#4: Marble-ized my nails. (Only a few of them turned out to look like vomit. Luckily, this was the "good hand")

#3: Saw a dog riding in the back of a truck, with no back! Kelly tried to console me by saying, "Maybe that dog was a murderer dog. He was waiting back there to murder the drivers...Do you feel better now?"

#2: Watched the solar eclipse! Kelly and I headed over to the Dewey Decimal Center (Otherwise known as the Dimple Dell Center) to watch it with all the other yuppies. Most of them were smart and made hilarious-looking boxes. Kelly and I were also smart and just borrowed the pieces of welder's glass that the Planetarium provided. It was awesome.

#1: Kelly took me to a golfing range (driving range? Not sure what it's called). I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. 

Bring it on, Summer. Bring it on.

On Teaching

The Team: Team Discover

(this is only half the team...)

The mission: Can we make a floating lantern that will not burst into flames?

We promised our 8th graders that if they passed 3rd term with a certain percentage we'd let them build those floating lanterns (like from Tangled). And we'd set them all off at once at the end of the year. Such a magical promise...

The students met the goal, because they're awesome, so now we're in the business of figuring out how these lanterns work.

Our first attempt included cotton balls, rubbing alcohol, and fire...If we had promised our 8th graders we would teach them how to make fireballs and how to get rid of pesky arm hair, it would have been a success.

This time around, we built a much bigger tissue paper balloon (to hold more air), and got a massive torch that, in theory, would blow hot air all up in that thang and send it flying. 

 This is how I helped:

 With our first try, the balloon lifted! It got about 30 feet and then fell down. A little anti-climactic. 

This is me helping again. Man, I'm so good at helping.  

We decided the hot air wasn't enough; it needed to last longer. "Oh, I got it," we said. "Let's try that fireball thing again!" So, we dipped a cotton ball in some alcohol and, after filling the balloon with hot air, we lit that sucker up .

The balloon flew higher this time..

...But crash landed. 

Luckily, we were smart this time and didn't let it catch itself on fire.

I guess we'll just have to modify our promise to the kids: "We're not sending off lanterns anymore. Oh no. We're going to watch tissue paper float around for about 20 seconds and then chase it! How does that sound!?!" 

I can hear their gleeful cheers already.

On Stirrings

This first picture is to show you what a great teacher I am:

They love me. Maybe one reason they love me is because I talk about things like "Stirrings."

If you've read The Giver, you know how wonderfully awkward chapter 5 is.
If you haven't, let me fill you in:

Jonas telling his dream from the previous night to his parents: 

"It was only me and Fiona, alone in the room standing beside the tub. She was laughing, But I wasn't. I was almost a little angry at her, in the dream, because she wasn't taking me seriously."

"Seriously about What?" Lily asked.

Jonas looked at his plate. For some reason that he didn't understand, he felt slightly embarrassed. "I think I was trying to convince her that she should get into the tub of water...I wanted her to take off her clothes and get into the tub," he explained quickly. "I wanted to bathe her. I had the sponge in my hand. But she wouldn't. She kept laughing and saying no."

He looked up at his parents. "That's all," he said.  

"Can you describe the strongest feeling in your dream, son?" Father asked.

 Jonas thought about it. The details were murky and vague. But the feelings were clear, and flooded him again now as he thought. "The wanting," he said. 

...

"Jonas," [Mother] said with a smile, "the feeling you described as the wanting? It was your first Stirrings."

I usually read that last line like this: "It was your first Stirrings!!!!!!"
It's the best to read with 8th graders. They giggle and look around the room, trying to make eye contact with anyone who is also looking around, giggling. Some kids yell, "Why are we reading this?!" and "This is not a children's book!" And I laugh and laugh.

I like to then further the awkwardness by asking, "So, what are Stirrings?"
My favorite answer I heard this year was: Hormones!

Now, I know what you're all thinking. You're thinking Where can I get some stirrings? 
Good news! You can get some Stirrings at Target. On clearance!