writing.

I'm writing a . .. book? Story? Something. I'm writing a something.
This is how I write.
I type. Just type and don't stop to think. It just comes out. Then I pause and put my head down on my hands on my desk and think about what happened next. I try to just picture it and then I wish that it was all written already and that I didn't have to write it, that it would just be done. Then I lift up my head again and maybe read the last sentence or two that I wrote. Maybe try to pop my back or my neck. Look at my fingernails. Check my phone. And then start typing again. Describing what my brain sees. And repeat the process. There's a lot of resting my head and thinking and wishing.
It's the secret. I'm willing this book to be written and the universe is writing it. haha. Ohhhh secrets. Hilarious. Deodorant.
It's hard. Writing is hard. But I feel like robotron: MUST WRITE BOOK. MUST CONTINUE. or the Donner party. Must go on. Can't give up. I'll eat people just to not give up. .. .
Extreme, I know.
I just sit here and imagine when it's done. How long it will be. How successful it's potential is. If it has potential at all. If it should be more than just for me. If it could be for everyone. Money. Will people want to hear more from me if they read this one? Will people be mad? Should I use a fake name? Will I even finish within the next year?
All unanswered questions. An unanswered book...

Okay. Time to get back to willing the universe to writing this story for me.