Life Update: 1000% More Awesome

I've done it. I have become 1000% more awesome. Not possible, you say? Natalie, you're already so awesome, you say? Well, what if I told you that I have entered into the I Own A Giant Mug From 7-Eleven Club? That's right. Kelly and I are so much cooler than you guys (sorry, guys). And so are our drinks! 

Kelly captured the moment with this Kelly-style video: 

(He got me again!)

I instantly fell in love with the newest design, and BLAM! the plastic wrapping that was keeping me away from my dreams was peeled away. I knew I would love it; I did not know how much I would love it.

 I just couldn't wait to get that baby open and let the magic begin.

This happened for a while, and Kelly continued to snap photos for a few minutes before he stepped in to help.

When I finally filled up my new lifestyle, I felt like a hobbit, discovering that they have pints for the first time. I saw Kelly's mug and said, "They have pints?! I'm getting one!" 

Look at how happy we are! 

I'm assuming this will someday be used as a "Before" picture.

This is the projected "After" picture, with a caption of: WE LOVE SODA!

Even our eyes got fat!

But, let's get serious for a minute. I'd like to bear my testimony of this mug. I've only had it for 2 days, and it is already changing my life. On Saturday at 1pm, I got my first soda. Saturday night at 10pm, THE ICE WAS STILL THERE! It was mostly melted, but IT WAS STILL THERE! I know that I love ice in my soda, and I know that the ice was there all day. I know this mug is true. I'm grateful for soda. I'm grateful for the designers of a mug big enough to last me all day. In the name of 7-Eleven, amen.

On 8th Graders: Some Things Never Change

Kids still love to leave their mark.
My 8th graders are taking the end of the year state test today. I have this program where I can look at all of the computers at one time to see what they're doing. It's like I'm a teacher spy. So I look at one boy's screen and see this:

 

When I look up to see what he's doing, he's sound asleep on the desk. He just had to leave his mark real quick, and then check out.

Some things never change.

Stephanie Myers?

You know that Outliers talk about how the successful man just happened to have this, this, and this? I think about Stephanie Myers sometimes in relation to that. How did she write super famous books? What were her happenstances?  Because, let's admit it, she's not a great writer. She just happened to have an okay story line. How did she become so famous with such poor writing? How do a lot of writers become famous with poor writing?
I just want to know. Would someone please do a study on that?

I'd also like to know if I have the happenstances to become a famous writer. Please do a study on that also. Thank you.

Amen.
Oh, sorry. Still stuck in Sunday mode.

My Life As A Teacher: An Update

First order of business: The Business of a Red Delicious

This morning, one of my 7th graders wandered into my room and, without saying anything, handed me this Red Delicious (if you don't know my feelings on red deliciouses, you can probably guess. No one likes these right? They're applesauce in a skin). I just smiled and said, "Thank you very much!"

 What I was really thinking: "Wait. Is this real? Are you Ralphie from A Christmas Story? What's going on!?..."

I was very suspicious, but took the apple anyway. The apple was badly bruised and I threw it away as soon as class was over. Hahahahaha. Thanks for this piece of garbage, kid. (But really it was sweet, don't think I'm a monster)

You may also notice the chubby cat behind the apple... That's Mr. Tubs. He's a pretty major character in my classroom. He's our class mascot, and the kids LOVE him. We had a competition today against other English classes and we were the only ones with a mascot (we also won 5 out of 6 times!). I'd run up and down the rows, letting the kids get "good luck pats" in on the cat. They love Mr. Tubs more than they love me. And that's fine. He's pretty great. The kids always laugh when they see his little beaded eyes are hidden and I tell them, "He's too fat to have eyes."

One student decided Mr. Tubs just got his PHD and that his official name is: Dr. Stewart Tubs. He said that Dr. Stewart Tubs is a highly regarded psychologist and if any students are having problems, just give them a few minutes with Dr. Tubs. Then he squeezed his head for good luck.

Second order of business: The business of Buying out the Crayola isle. 

I had some school money to spend today, so I went to Walmart and...bought out the Crayola isle. I wish I would have spread out the markers more before I took this picture, because there are a LOT of markers in that cart. Do I teach second or eighth grade? - you may be asking. Well, all eighth graders are second graders stuck in taller, more awkward bodies. So...both, I would say. 

I can't wait for the figure coloring projects I'll make the kids do! Draw a picture of the theme of this poem. Color a picture of your favorite scene from The Outsider (That's when I would grade 200 pictures of a guy getting stabbed....)

I also bought this document camera with my teacher money. I'm so excited! Now my students can watch me write without having to turn my backs to them as I use the whiteboard, and I can show them a compass and a pencil! 

My classes take the big end of the year state test all next week. I'm going to have them write about their feelings right before they test to see if they score higher after getting out their anxieties. I'll let you know how it goes...

(Only one more month of school!)

Reasons Why I Love and Married Kelly

There are many reasons why I love and married Kelly. Some of them are mushy and lovey-dovey, of which I'm certain Nicholas Sparks would be jealous. Those reasons will not be blogged about today. 

The reasons for today are as follows:

Reason #1: Every time we go to 7-Eleven (which is virtually everyday), Kelly picks up the GIANT Big Gulp cups -- you know, the ones construction workers and teachers have and fill with Diet Coke -- and says, "I wonder how much this is." Tonight, Kelly took his curiosity to the next level. He asked, "Should I get this?"

Reason #2: Kelly bought a GIANT Big Gulp cup -- you know, the ones construction workers and teachers have and fill with Diet Coke. After the 10 seconds of thought and asking Carl -- the 7-eleven employee with whom we are on a first name basis -- the price of the Monster Gulp, Kelly ripped open the packaging and started down the path of victory.

Reason #3: His award-winning smile.If I wasn't so lazy and I hadn't already uploaded all the pictures for this blog post, I would photoshop a blue ribbon on his face. This particular heart-melting smile was captured as Kelly was reaching into his newly acquired "cup" and discovering his prize! Like in a cereal box! It was a straw! 

Reason #4: He's so much cooler than everyone else. I mean, look at him. Do I even have to elaborate on this point? No. No I don't.

Reason #5: Kelly, along with being into the act of being awesome, is into owning awesome things. Have you been to our house? If you haven't - we have a pinball machine in our living room, 5 guitars in the bedroom, a pair of skis, a snowboard, and now the biggest Big Gulp cup known to man (or, rather, to us). It's the size of Kelly's head.

 Reason #6: After getting in the car with our various Gulps, Kelly was in the mood for a Doritos Taco from Taco Bell. You know I'm all about fast food and tacos and eating-whenever-possible. It's so nice to be married to someone who A. Isn't a vegetarian (Sorry, Dana) B. Isn't ashamed to got o Taco Bell and C. Will order and think Doritos Tacos are delicious.

Reason #7: My love of food and love for Kelly came full circle when after eating our tacos, he said, "Popcorn? Should we just jump right into the popcorn now?" YES! YES WE SHOULD! (I love our popcorn machine. It is the most used out of all the wedding gifts we received.) How could I not love someone who shares and encourages my love of snacks?

And the final reason of the night is this: Even if we didn't have all of these amazingly awesome and fun things in our lives (we are so cool; you know you're jealous), we would still have fun every single day. And plus he's still got that smile.

Spring Break: Day 1

Spring Break: Day 1

(No pictures. Sorry, ya'll)

Unlike work days, I woke up at a normal time. I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I knew I didn't have to wake up. But, I got a full 8 hours and it felt great. Let me, since I know you're all super interested, fill you in on my day 1 of spring break...

Ahem...

8:30am - Internet TV was instantly turned on while eating a breakfast of Honey Nut Cheerios and, eventually, Oreos. The Oreos soon led me to bust out the ice cream, of course. (If you give a mouse a cookie, and whatnot) So, breakfast turned out to be: a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, about 7 Oreos, and Rocky Road ice cream. It was awesome.

9:30am - Finally time to get ready for the day. What was I getting ready for, you ask? Well, I don't want to spoil the surprise. It's only 9:30!

10:00am - With no real pressing matters to attend to, I indulge myself in more internet TV, telling myself, "I'll run one errand today: I'll go to the library."

10:30am - Still trying to pull myself away from internet TV. I can't do it!

11:30am - I pause The Office when a commercial hits because, hey, no one likes The Office anymore. Stopping mid show? No problem! I don't care what happens anyway!

11:45am - I arrive at the Tyler Library, perhaps the sketchiest library in the SLC Library system (perhaps: I haven't visited them all). The first day Kelly and I visited that library, there was a man attempting to acquire a library card using only his fishing license and concealed weapons permit...

12:00pm - I leave the library with Laurie Halse Anderson's Wintergirls and Gladwell's Outliers. I read the first page of Outliers as I stop for gas on the way home and think, "Man, it's been a long time since I've read a grown-up book."

12:15pm - I get home and read the next two words on the second page of Outliers, put the book down, pick up Wintergirls and begin reading. Ahhh, the world of adolescent literature. My haven.


12:15-4:30pm - I read Wintergirls. As I read, I just keep thinking, "Should I finish this today?" and then I'd check the time and think, "Man, the day is still young! I can keep reading all day!" And then I did. I read all day. And I finished the book. I only cried once, which is pretty good for me in a YA book. *self high five!*

4:30pm - I half wander half dance around the house, wondering what I should do next. I still have an hour until Kelly gets home and realizes I've done nothing. What do I choose to do with my remaining hour? Why, I watch more internet TV, of course! This time, however, is different. I carry my computer with me to different rooms as I complete different tasks. I put away laundry and curl my hair. PRODUCTIVE!

5:30pm - Kelly comes home and I follow him around like a puppy becuase I have had no human interaction all day. I then tell him, "I don't want to make dinner tonight. SPRING BREAK!" He responds with, "Ok, sure. I'll just go to work all day and then come home and make dinner." I smile because, yes, that is exactly what I want. Kelly will most likely make McDonalds for dinner. I'm down with that.

That's only the first half of my day. Who knows what the evening will bring!!

My dear friend Alex just had her baby, so I might go visit her new, adorable bundle of joy. Super excited for her! I can't believe she's a mom! We're going to be friends forever! (You hear that, Alex?)

Colorado: Land of Dreams

If you're not "with it" on mine and Kelly's life, then let me catch you up.

Kelly has this amazing job that allowed us to go on a tour of Crested Butte, Colorado. After visiting Crested Butte, I have come up with a few tag lines for the tiny town:

Like drinking? You'll love Crested Butte!

Crested Butte: A Bar in Every Public Building

Crested Butte: A Lush's Paradise

Crested Butte: Never Heard of McDonald's

Crested Butte: The Smallest Town You'll Ever Ski In

Anyway, the point is: the town is tiny and there are bars everywhere. I tried to capture the essence of the town in this picture of a kid in a dinosaur costume taking pictures of the liquor store. I've titled it:

Admiring Alcohol 

Then there was also this awesome sculpture in the tiny town. It was awesome. We took lots of pictures of us in front of it. I did lots of awesome model poses. 

 

At one point on the mountain, someone was handing out burriots. I took mine with me on the chair lift but I didn't want it. There was a bearded man next to us. I turned to him and asked, "Want a burrito?" He first looked confused and then said, "Well, I did just smoke a bowl. Maybe that will hit the spot." Alright, go for it, man! 

If you ever had preconceived notions of Colorado being full of pot heads, you were right. 

Look at me, being a real photographer. Real photographers take pictures of themselves taking pictures to make it clear that they're legit, right? 

It was fun.

Blog OVER!